Anna Mehler Paperny: Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me Depression in the First Person



This book should be reuired reading for every psychiatry resident and highly recommended for every medical student It is an honest humane portrayal of everything about serious mental illness that health professionals should know and reflect on The book is exceptionally well written and astonishingly thorough I especially appreciate that amp6 addressed issues like race power privilege and coercion in the way that she did I also believe that practicing psychiatrists should read and reflect on the wise words of amp6 and many of the people that she interviewed Our profession must learn from our coercive history and advance towards a humane approach to treating suicidality I caught myself page after page thinking of the patients I have encountered who were suffering and so ready to give up I hope I treated them with the dignity they deserved They are the inspiration for my advocacy Our system is messed up beyond words and needs to change We have to keep fighting together for a system that does better Why do we accept the ridiculously poor standard of mental healthcare available to most Canadians It doesn t have to be this way There are pathways to compassionate euitable informed care for an illness that pummels too many for too long without respite But we need to act like this is something we care about So let s fix this goddamnit and move on to bitching about something else I think this book should have a trigger warning for suicide If ou are feeling suicidal this is probably not a book that Under Grand Hotel, Volume 02 you should read Or it s not a book that I should have read when I was suicidalI think this is a book about suicide and suicidal ideation rather than depression The subtitle of the book is depression in the first person But suicidal ideation and depression are linked so here we areThe author who is a journalist starts out by describing her own journey with suicide attempts her recovery her medications and so on Then she jumps into discussing treatment options and depression medications In this section I got very angry because the author really reveals how little effort and research is given to mental illness She also talks about stigma and mental illness in terms of poverty sexuality gender and race She looks into suicide in indigenous communities Her personal journey is woven throughout her examinationMehler Paperny is a good journalist and a good interviewer She does a great job of sharing information in this book and I learned a lot It was very very hard for me to read because there are a lot of graphic depictions of suicide I hope that doesn t turn people away from the book She also practices responsible reporting and gives a holistic well rounded view of the issue The book also contains numbers for help lines and additional information This book was really well done I m glad it was written and I do recommend it Full disclosure I m someone who has struggled with severe depression for most of my life That s why I was instantly drawn to this book the title is hilarious and why I would give it all the stars if I could Paperny s honesty in coming forward with her story of depression and multiple suicide attempts has inspired me to be honest with my own family and friends about my diagnosis Mental illnesses are left to thrive and flourish when people stay isolated and alone in their own miseryIn this part memoirpart nonfiction book Paperny takes the reader through her journey with a mental illness that has left her in despair for manyears She so accurately describes what it feels like to be desperate and lacking a will to live that I found myself highlighting pretty much every section in her book Her open frankness is what is needed to lessen the stigma surrounding mental disorders and I greatly admire her ability to share painful details of her experiences dealing with psychiatric hospitals and medical staffPaperny s descriptions of her own suffering would have been enough for me to love and appreciate this book on its own But it was the in depth research she included that will make this something I recommend to others Despite the limitations depression has placed on her Paperny has crafted an insightful comprehensive look at how we as a society are failing those with mental illnesses Because of a lack of funding misleading drug claims a general misunderstanding of what it means to have depression etc we have let down so many underserved groups of people who truly deserve helpLiving with depression can feel like DIRTY - 47 verruchte TABU Erotik Geschichten you re at the bottom of this dark cave It s impossible to crawl out and most of the time people can t even hearou if ou attempt to shout up to them I look for anything in this world that can throw even the tiniest bit of light down to me In this case Paperny s book has done just that for me It has created a space where I don t feel as alone in this maddening frustrating condition that consumes my life I hope Paperny is considering writing on this topic perhaps with focuses on other mental health disorders because I think people need to read her important and significant words And because I ll take whatever light I can getFree ARC provided by NetGalley and Random House Canada in exchange for an honest review i dont usually rate books which are this close to the genre of memoir but this is genuinely one of the most well written thoroughly researched accounts of depression and its place in healthcare across a variety of demographics if ou re in the right headspace for this particularly heavy discussion i d highly recommend picking this one up Everyone who loves me should read this It s heavy take care if this topic is difficult for ou I gave this book 4 stars because it was well written and for the authors dry sense of humor making the grim subject easier to stay withThe narrator was also excellentThe book did make me want to give the views of my own Spiritual Teacher on suicide which is that the reason people commit suicide is because of troubles and or pain tha. A vibrant compelling memoir from a remarkable oung woman that bravely reveals the real life havoc wrought by depression and the urgent search for solutions Illuminating completely engaging it's essential reading for all since we all know someone whose life family or friends are touched by the disease that directly afflicts a fifth of Canadians In her early twenties while outwardly thriving in her dream job and enjoying warm familial support and a strong social network award winning journalist Anna Mehler Paperny found herself trapped by feelings of failure and despair Her first suicide attempt ingesting a dea.

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T they wish to escape from but what they fail to consider is that all the pain and pleasure we experience in this life is due to our good and bad actions in past livesThe bad actions we do teh pain and trouble we will inevitably experience in the future Suicide is regarded by the Lord of Karma as the very worst of actions and results in the heaviest increase in pain and troubleTherefore Suicide is no escape as we still have to face the results of our previous actions in our next life but with the additional heavy burden of the suicidePlease note that my teacher is a scientist and teaches pupils how to die while living not by suicide but by focusing the attention at the portal where the soul leaves the body at death where the astral form of the human teacher meets it and takes it to higher regions of love and lightAfter the mediation period the soul returns to the body to carry out ones allotted duties My teacher says that St Paul refers to this process in The bible when he says I die daily I did try to take my life when I was 17 1977 after being was suicidally depressed for about a ear But then I found God as I understand him Narcotic Anonymous and via prayer and meditation began seeking to improve my conscious contact with this God as I understand him aka Higher Power which led in 1982 to my meeting my spiritual teacher who teaches that humans have a spiritual aspect as well as a mental and physical aspect and that mental illness is symptom of spiritual illness and can be treated by resolving the spiritual illness The spiritual illness is that we feel cut off from and ignorant of the power that created and sustains us and the only cure is to die while living every day in meditation and travel to a higher level of consciousness and reality and commune with this power daily I think this free therapy deserves some researchI was raised catholic and being a lustful teenager of poor moral character I was sure that I was destined to burn in hell f0r eternity It was uite a spiritual path that a reprobate like me could walk upon and on that path to find a way to feel God s love and support in life after my daily meditation it solved the depressionself condemnation problem fro me I feltstill feel have a true friend who loves and understands me and constant companion Due to the scientific techniue I can reliable contact him at will and His presence is the sustaining power that supports my will to live and to serve him by growing and evolving according to his plan while consciously receiving help and guidance Life is now an adventure for USits not me any its us Him and me me and Him we are in this together Some times i feel cut off again because of getting too involved in worldly affairs and depression can return but Like a child lost in a who has let go of her father s hand in a crowded fair all I have to do is go back to the eyecenterthe lost and found and there he is waiting for me with a big smile Hence I call it a hard science rather than a belief system It is a little known fact we all have an eyecenter within us and that if we get a good teacher he will instruct us how to develop our ability to hold still there long enough to pass through it and meet there teh Power that created and supports us and consciously reiceved waves of love light and guidance AND HE DOES NO CHARGE A PENNY ITS FREE for info see But note it does reuire a living human teacher to do it on ones own risks being fed false suggestions by ones own diseased mind So the living human teache ris needed to differentiate between ones own mind and god within but Like I saidthe teacher is freeso no need to DIY to save moneyIt really does solve the problem and any one who can live the discipline no meat no alcohol or street drugs no stealing or sex out of wedlock and mediate 25 hours a day ualifies for free instruction with guaranteed results I suggest this as a a cheap discreet alternative to suicide and ones fellow pupils form an excellent support group of cool people The only catch is the disciplines but if one can do them its a great solution to the problem and usually when one gets desperate enough one finds that they are no big price to pay I ve been doing it since 1982 and have had no relapse One develops a strong will power by collecting ones attention in the eye center Informative honest and perceptiveHello I Want to Die Please Fix Me is the first hand candid story of Anna Mehler Paperny s personal ongoing struggle with suicidal ideation and depression as well as an in depth look into the mental health care industry and the limitations resources misunderstandings and treatments that surround itThe writing is clear moving and educative And the novel is an exceptionally researched impassioned tale of one woman s battle to maintain life while her brain consistently tells her to end itHello I Want to Die Please Fix Me is ultimately part memoir part investigation that includes statistical data and interviews with Canadian and North American health care professionals that is a valuable emotive resource for anyone anywhere who suffers from works with or is affected in any way by this disease that wreaks havoc on over 300 million lives worldwideThank ou to Penguin Random House Canada for providing me with a copy in exchange for an honest review I don t think I have adeuate words to express just how powerful and moving this story was There were so many points where I just had to put it down for a bit and process what I had read The content is disturbing and it s not easy to read but Mehler Paperny has a great manner of writing It s often dark humour but I did laugh out loud reading this A book about depression and suicide made me laugh I never would have imagined The author is super relatable and for me it wasn t too difficult to imagine that this horror could happen to someone like me She was and still is I hope a successful journalist with a thriving career until this disease started to destroy her life. Dly mix of sleeping pills and antifreeze landed her in the ICU followed by weeks of enforced detention that ran the gamut of horrifying boring hilarious and absurd This was Anna's entry into the labyrinthine psychiatric care system responsible for providing care to millions of CanadiansAs she struggled to survive the psych ward and as an outpatient enduring the survivor's shame of facing concerned family friends and co workers; finding or not the right therapist the right meds; staying healthy insured and employed Anna could not help but turn her demanding journalist's eye on her condition and on the system in.

I feel like if it happened to her it could happen to any of usPart of this book is the author s memoir and oh boy what a tale it is I can t fathom the strength it takes to fight a disease that turns Wicked City (Wicked City, your brain againstou a disease that tells The Celestial Selenite Scry (The Moon God Trilogy, you to drink a liter of antifreeze or to hangourself This is such a personal intimate story It s raw real and very very intimate I don t think I would ever be brave enough to share a story like this but it is so important that she has I hope that people with mental health issues read this and feel seen and understood I hope people without mental issues read this and become compassionate and understanding The other big topic of this book is a look into the mental health care system both in the past and the present Mehler Paperny is an incredible investigative journalist and she applies these skills along with her first hand experience to expose the issues involved in dealing with people with mental illnesses be they institutional societal or personal It s an eye opening look into something that I personally didn t know very much about I m pretty sure this book has made me smarter Lol It for sure has given me a better understanding of mental illness and a much considerate view of those unfortunate souls who battle this terrible disease every day They are true warriorsI received this book for free through a Goodreads Firstreads giveaway but this has not influenced my review in any way This book is part memoir and part journalistic investigation with a fair amount of acknowledged subjectivity based on the author s experiences with depression suicidal ideation and attempts and various treatments In trying to explain the contents of this book I couldn t go past this uote It s an uncomfortably personal exploration of a sickeningly common illness no one likes talking about one that remains under treated and poorly treated and grossly ineuitably treated in part because of our own sueamishness in confronting it or our own denial of its existence as an illness and the destruction it wreaks when left to its own devices I found myself cycling between wondering how wise it was to be describing the methods used in so much detail because it could potentially be read as instructions in the wrongright hands and admonishing myself for wanting to control the narrative because people who live with suicidal ideation are already silenced in so many waysIt s difficult to sit and think about depression and suicide for any extended period of time and I did find my mood changing as I read especially the early sections where the author recounts her entry point into a labyrinthine psychiatric care system via the trapdoor of botched self obliteration I think I d be concerned if reading a book like this didn t have any impact on me though I was able to binge watch some TV to effectively switch the channels in my brain for a while for some respite I am keenly aware that this is a luxury someone experiencing chronic depression andor suicidal ideation do not haveWhile some of the information contained in this book is specific to Canada andor America overall there s something for pretty much everyone Given the prevalence of depression it s likely to have touched our life in some way either personally or through someone ou loveThis book Demystifies suicide no asking someone if they are considering suicide does not cause someone who isn t suicidal to suddenly become so Offers some protective measures loved ones curiosity procrastination Discusses various treatment options pharmacological treatment of mental disorders has all the precision of surgery conducted with a chainsaw Outlines some studies and research Highlights the additional barriers to getting treatment if Americas sewing book you re not white orou re poor or from a remote community or a child or Indigenous or from a culture that shames seeking mental health treatment or heaven forbid any combination of these We fail the most marginalized at every level then wonder why they worsen and Provides insights into depression and suicide through stories of people who ve experienced them up close and personalI found some of the language used in this book referencing mental illness iffy at best nuts crazy nutbars While I m never going to be okay with those words myself I don t have the right to tell someone who s describing their experience what words they re allowed to use to do so Subsumed by such an agency stealing disease we need all the empowering we can get While it covered a lot of information I already knew I ve read a lot previously in this area I learned about some studies and potential future treatments I wasn t aware of and the details of the author s experiences in hospital opened my eyes I appreciated the author s honesty and her down to earth approach which made difficult topics accessible for me The amount of interviews with various health professionals researchers and others who are consistently dealing with mental illness provided a we If Secret Santa (Bluegrass Brothers, you are struggling with depression or another serious psychological disorder then I do not recommend reading this book You knowourself best and if The Workshop you are feeling triggered or ruminating about self harm while reading this book then please put it down read something wholesome and return to it whenou are healthier because I think it is an important informative and compelling read Paperny also mentions her concerns regarding this near the end of her book Because of the explicit descriptions of suicide and candid discussions about mental illness she was afraid it might trigger some readers However I believe she wanted to write about her experiences honestly and part of doing that was describing the day she almost ended her life Although reading the beginning of this book was rough I never felt like she glamorized her attempts She did a good job at describing how low The Legacy of Aaron Geist you feel whenou are having suicidal thoughts the anguish and pain it causes the damage it wreaks on Prisoner of Night (Black Dagger Brotherhood, your. Which she found herself She set off on a uest to know her enemy interviewing leading practitioners in the field across Canada and the US from psychiatrists to neurological experts brain mapping pioneers to heroic family practitioners and others dabbling in novel hypotheses She reveals in courageously frank detail her own experiences with the pharmacological pitfalls and side effects of long term treatment and offers moving case studies of conversations with others opening wide a window into how we treat and fail to treat the disease that accounts forears swallowed up by disability than any other in the worl.